the sorrows of sin, the joys of horror. You stun like
the pleasures of paradox, you ferment like wine into
vinegar-and I do not understand why I loved you.
You trouble me on nights of solitude when the darkness
black night punctuated by my solitary presence
when your presence fades like morning star into daylight
and you cry like an orphan or a dog
and I think- I loved this demon.
You wished to steal my patience, until nights of
endless perspiration rendered me insane, and I
feverishly gathered the sweat off your brow like
dew and I drank it like nectar
But now it tastes like the sea.
You had eyes like pools of water, black as the ocean
that reflects the nights. Endless nights of fruitless
waiting-when you slumbered in the depths of another's
While I stayed awake and paced the shore.
You do not exist, for my mind is that of a mad girl.
You called her a bad girl, did you ever see a sad
pearl? Shining white and lonely in the middle of
the ocean bed-clammed shut from the eyes of the world.
I thought you were my diver,
would wear me across your neck
in a calm caress but
You sold me to a shop.