Friday, 30 April 2010

moving on

Constantly away, away, outwardly moving, building up an absurd and impossible identity, often pausing to think who/what one is, until what/who one is slips out of one's grasp, moving out-moving away from the people one claimed one's own...until nothing remains, and the ashes float away, settling in some remote corner of a dusty field, and then coming back for the last drag from somebody else's fag, why does life have to be an endless loop, an endless search for a coherence that does not exist?

Met and befriended four years ago, we bid adieu, to be bid adieu a year later, who/what am I, and who/what are you, perhaps we will spend many more years trying to figure this out, perhaps not, who cares, this is the age of virtual reality, if reality eludes one, one can always try to connect in a way hitherto unheard of, and now is the moment, now is the moment then, to create a reality that does not exist, never has, and perhaps never will.

Because I sat in that corner, was 17 years old, met her/him when he/she was 18-19 and we became friends, the friends of early adulthood, and these are the friends one gradually grows up with, finally to realize that one is young no longer. What reality is this then, a sultry drizzling summer's day, shall I compare him/her to that summer's day, but he/she is going, and I soon too will be gone, perhaps to another summer, perhaps to a better summer, perhaps not. All that will remain, until the final moment of death, is that horrible, familiar process-going, going, gone. And moving on.

8 comments:

Uttaran said...

I love this post.

AUROBOROS banerjee said...

there are no better summers. Better summers in our country are like those elusive cherry blossoms - you never know what they look like outside the street where the lover waited for his love, and waited , and waited, and still missed her by a whisp of a century.

better summer, you don't need. You write awesome. take a regular summer and work your magic on it.

denzongs hi5

Anushka said...

There's something in this that is not accessible to me, and yet I can get a drift of some really strong emotion. I wish I'd got a chance to know you better.

RepublicOfChic said...

My vote is for a better summer.

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Elendil said...

Bah, eta besh.

Madhuri Ramachandran said...

There is of course, the choice, that impossibly high leap of faith, I believe it comes from identity :)

Powerfully written Ahona

Anurima. said...

I love this, for many, many personal reasons.

This state of flux scares me, but I know that this perhaps shelters me/us by forcing me/us to move on... hopefully, to a better summer.