Saturday, 7 November 2009

yaaaaaaaaah bleh

Oh, my god, there she goeth again, but also (thankfully) not Goethe again!

Why do I feel old? Why are people cold? Why is my life sad? What is in a rant? Why do you not have a polyester pant? bad, bad, bad, bad.

Things will become worse soon. The price of tobacco will increase. My asthma will become peenu-monia. Tonic will not be served with gin. Love will be banned from the frescoes of Florence. Or the fauna/flora of Ellora. Veronica will get Archie because a Yeti will get Betty.

OK, I think I must stop.

OK, just one more crucial point. Has anyone eaten a soup spiced with gloop? Or a pot of snot? Do parrots not eat carrots? Why not? Do they really eat chillies, the sillies? Do horses never lie down? I never want to be a horse. In my next life, I want to be an Egyptian God, but I do not want to be a naked Egyptian God. I don't want to be you. I don't want to be you either. I don't want to be a literary critic. I want to be Scheherazade. I want to be rich. Really rich.

I want to be meaningful and not at all funny. I want to burst with meaning. I want to help people. I want to bring about World Peace. Also greater multicultural understanding. I will never be depressed. No, I will, but only when I lose on the stock market. I want to play with bulls and bears and not with stupid hearts. I also want to play with the fates of many nations. I will only drink carrot juice and neem juice. I will eat neem begun and eat broccoli and ask "Who is Barbara Broccoli?"

I want to be overwhelmingly decent. Now give me the Nobel Prize. Quick!

P.S.- I can't believe that you are reading this post. Suckers! Losers! Yaaah! Yaaah!
P.P.S.- I am growing really old and am neither-here-nor-there. Abandoned and decrepit. I feel like Perry Como staring at the Beatles and the Rolling Stones. And also, not quite Mahler and uh Mendelssohn?


Arse Poetica. said...


why are you so adorable, Self?

Your alienated Other.

Baudolino said...


You are so cute, Self.


Your alienated Baudolino.

AUROBOROS banerjee said...

i just got branded a loser and a sucker/
sucked into a gay vortex with tom-touch-my-balls-Tucker/
been a 49-second witness to this manic little rant/
been slightly better off about my wits, in this illuminating decant/
of self-love. and now for this moment I stoop/
to acknowledge the greater genius at work here, braving muck and gloop/
did I say braving? Craving, I meant surely,
and landed myself in a soup/
and now will strive to hold peace,
having exhausted my brain-poop.

use this as but another laurel to Self, Alienated Other...

AUROBOROS banerjee said...

omg...You guys are so 1958 Teddy-bunny-wunny-bearishly fuzzy!!!

Priyanka said...

The first sentence gave me faint warning signals, but I read it anyway. How many non-naked Egyptian gods are there?

Arse Poetica. said...

@Priyanka- sorry to seem so ignorant and allthat, but are you an ickle-firstie@JUDE? I am Ahona, PG1.
Most Egyptian Gods are semi-clad (acc to Hollywood)

@Bawdy- what a sham, what a shame!

@Arnab- you're the real Slim Shady.

Diwakar Sinha said...

why did i read it? full? till the end? even the ps and pps??
i really dont know.

Anurima. said...

tor ambitions toh angelina jolie'r moton.

Elendil said...

You play with hearts? Hahahahahahaha.

YOu play with farts, my dear.


Arse Poetica. said...

I meant hearts along with spades, clubs and aces.

What did you think, playboy of the western world? Mwahahaha.

Tangled up in blue... said...

I came from reading a post titled "Yahweh" and this one had to be called "yaaaaaaaaah bleh"..

I thought that was some kind of a sign..

swear thats the only reason I read it whole! :D

And everyone wants to be Scheherazade, I mean who'd want to be all those other brides who were executed? ;)

And I agree with Priyanka up there, you'd be about the only non-naked Egyptian God..and I dont think they want those kinds anymore..

Tangled up in blue... said...

And Mahler..I missed Mahler the first time around..

and da-dang, now I've read this twice over. :D