Saturday, 7 November 2009

yaaaaaaaaah bleh

Oh, my god, there she goeth again, but also (thankfully) not Goethe again!

Why do I feel old? Why are people cold? Why is my life sad? What is in a rant? Why do you not have a polyester pant? bad, bad, bad, bad.

Things will become worse soon. The price of tobacco will increase. My asthma will become peenu-monia. Tonic will not be served with gin. Love will be banned from the frescoes of Florence. Or the fauna/flora of Ellora. Veronica will get Archie because a Yeti will get Betty.

OK, I think I must stop.

OK, just one more crucial point. Has anyone eaten a soup spiced with gloop? Or a pot of snot? Do parrots not eat carrots? Why not? Do they really eat chillies, the sillies? Do horses never lie down? I never want to be a horse. In my next life, I want to be an Egyptian God, but I do not want to be a naked Egyptian God. I don't want to be you. I don't want to be you either. I don't want to be a literary critic. I want to be Scheherazade. I want to be rich. Really rich.

I want to be meaningful and not at all funny. I want to burst with meaning. I want to help people. I want to bring about World Peace. Also greater multicultural understanding. I will never be depressed. No, I will, but only when I lose on the stock market. I want to play with bulls and bears and not with stupid hearts. I also want to play with the fates of many nations. I will only drink carrot juice and neem juice. I will eat neem begun and eat broccoli and ask "Who is Barbara Broccoli?"

I want to be overwhelmingly decent. Now give me the Nobel Prize. Quick!

P.S.- I can't believe that you are reading this post. Suckers! Losers! Yaaah! Yaaah!
P.P.S.- I am growing really old and am neither-here-nor-there. Abandoned and decrepit. I feel like Perry Como staring at the Beatles and the Rolling Stones. And also, not quite Mahler and uh Mendelssohn?

12 comments:

Arse Poetica. said...

Muah~

why are you so adorable, Self?

Love,
Your alienated Other.

Baudolino said...

Muah~

You are so cute, Self.

Love,

Your alienated Baudolino.

AUROBOROS banerjee said...

i just got branded a loser and a sucker/
sucked into a gay vortex with tom-touch-my-balls-Tucker/
been a 49-second witness to this manic little rant/
been slightly better off about my wits, in this illuminating decant/
of self-love. and now for this moment I stoop/
to acknowledge the greater genius at work here, braving muck and gloop/
did I say braving? Craving, I meant surely,
and landed myself in a soup/
and now will strive to hold peace,
having exhausted my brain-poop.


use this as but another laurel to Self, Alienated Other...

AUROBOROS banerjee said...

omg...You guys are so 1958 Teddy-bunny-wunny-bearishly fuzzy!!!

Priyanka said...

The first sentence gave me faint warning signals, but I read it anyway. How many non-naked Egyptian gods are there?

Arse Poetica. said...

@Priyanka- sorry to seem so ignorant and allthat, but are you an ickle-firstie@JUDE? I am Ahona, PG1.
Most Egyptian Gods are semi-clad (acc to Hollywood)

@Bawdy- what a sham, what a shame!

@Arnab- you're the real Slim Shady.

Diwakar Sinha said...

god...
why did i read it? full? till the end? even the ps and pps??
i really dont know.

Anurima. said...

tor ambitions toh angelina jolie'r moton.

Elendil said...

You play with hearts? Hahahahahahaha.

YOu play with farts, my dear.

Hahahahaha.

Arse Poetica. said...

I meant hearts along with spades, clubs and aces.

What did you think, playboy of the western world? Mwahahaha.

Tangled up in blue... said...

I came from reading a post titled "Yahweh" and this one had to be called "yaaaaaaaaah bleh"..

I thought that was some kind of a sign..

swear thats the only reason I read it whole! :D

And everyone wants to be Scheherazade, I mean who'd want to be all those other brides who were executed? ;)

And I agree with Priyanka up there, you'd be about the only non-naked Egyptian God..and I dont think they want those kinds anymore..

Tangled up in blue... said...

And Mahler..I missed Mahler the first time around..

and da-dang, now I've read this twice over. :D