2. I cannot make people like me, precisely because I am me.
3.Life is weird. Especially if the first set of people you meet in the course of the day are stoned out of their wits. One of them claimed that his aunt has stopped drinking water. She is 60 and drinks only wine. She keeps a jug of wine next to her bed every night with a goblet. He also claimed that when he was five his father got an eagle home and the eagle lounged on the sofa,but his father denies this story.
4. Do not expect much from the State. The State is out to get you, even if you are not a Maoist. (Paanchu paach chhagoler maa, Paanchu hege chhonchaaye naa! i.e., Paanchu is the mother of five goats, Paanchu does not wipe her rectum after defecating!)
5. Don't trust this bitch of a month. November is Mata Hari, November is Cleopatra. November is the Black Widow. November is Aeneas who betrayed poor Dido.(Not that "widow"/"Dido" rhyme.)
6.Don't watch the dailies on Star Jalsa if you don't want to snigger all night. Today I stared open-mouthed at this guy who went to a shop to get himself a swanky new car and said to a dealer offset against this very corny set- I want to book a....cur.
7. The stoned friend from above with the famous aunt also reported that a crocodile once ate his shoes.(No, the shoes were not made of crocodile skin. That would have been grotesque.) I do not know how this point constitutes a great truth, but I suspect that it is still profound.
8. The centre of unity will inevitably disintegrate. It's called a minor gastric problem or simply put pet byatha. Some people (rude Bengalis) could also call you; paagol na pet kharap? -thus associating madness and insanity with aforementioned gastric problem. Indeed the medulla oblongata then, in the words of the famous Professor SwapanKumarChakravorty, requires some serious water.
9. The Butler did it. What? You don't have a butler? You don't know on whom to pinpoint the petty theft/major burglary/awesome murder? How do you solve the problem in the Indian context? The baai did it sounds wrong. As if you're accusing the poor maid of suspect liaisons. The problem might as well be scrapped altogether.
10. Don't read this blog. You will learn absolutely nothing. It's not going to help you. At all. It's going to screw you. I feel sorry for you. Bye.