Thursday, 19 November 2009


All Bengalis have bad stomachs. It's the way they are made, they can't help it-the poor gobets. Just as Punjabis reek of good health and butter masala, lobster in mustard sauce does the poor Bengali in. Why must the Bengalis cook all his dishes with mustard and the Punjabi dance in every Hindi film in vast stretches of mustard fields? I have no idea.

I was thinking of expressions like paagol na pet kharap and paagol chhagol and wondering would you really suffer if you ate a mad goat the way the British suffered when they ate mad cows? Then I think; how is this going to help me?

The point is that only eating chocolate cake can help. But that contains egg(mostly). Which is sort of dangerous because really...
I mean did the egg come first? A primordial egg, an egg that started it all, the first egg as the embodied First Cause. Or was it an insufferable, know-it-all, obese/stringy, clucking chicken that said "Howdy?We're gonna make the world rowdy. Now let's all come oudie, man!"

I want ham. Now! Glazed with honey and mustard. Otherwise I'll ham it up ad infinitum.
Bandy gave me oodles of cake. Now I want to be her poodle. Toodles. She's my favourite, just the way that wretched character (sickny) in Jab We Met goes "main apni favourite hoon"...arrey woh meri favourite hain, kyunki ushe pata hain ki bhukhi petni bahut badtameez ho sakti hain. Or sumfin, gott, amar khide paay ni bhogoban, ami bangali noi.

Disclaimer- I am a great Bengali. Good Bengalis are reborn as la parisiennes and bad bengalis are reborn as Bengali Americans. But great bengalis are reborn as tamils!
yum, i'll have rasam and finish a PhD in maths by age 13. Guru, aashche jonme jaa hobe na! I feel pleased right now. Mmmm, rasam.

No, I think Really Great Bengalis are reborn as Really Great Bengalis. It's a cycle of divine lobster malaikari blessing and maangsho bhaat blessing. In fact, I have an inkling that I was Bidhan Chandra Roy. Or Noti Binodini. Ginni, khete daao. uhhhhh.


Elendil said...

I love rassam!

Rassam! Rassam!

*Rassam chant*

AUROBOROS banerjee said...

All bangalees do not have a system requiring frequent injections of bashok pata'r/shigi machcher jhol, and do not feel the need to substitute dessert with screaming, full-body contorted-sessions of Aqua Tychotis after having had a 'hebby' meal.

some bangalees have very reliable internal machines that routinely expunge a phenomenal amount of slow moving, steaming trains of poops and poop-lings, every winter morning. and some summer mornings as well.

Priyanka said...

Then I must've been half a great Bengali in my pichhla janam. Doesn't figure why I don't like rasam otherwise.

Sugar Magnolia said...

I've made up my mind to be Good now.

Madhuri said...

OO thanks flattering rasam comparison :D ... im a bad tamil though, at 13 i was um probably um not doing much, a tradition preserved carefully for 17 years now