Monday, 11 May 2009

daringly dark/achingly intense

Enough with those angsty-profound-sad posts. I was reading Plato. When I consumed the only chocolate I found in my fridge. It was 85% dark chocolate. It was called "daringly dark", and now my daring has brought dark thoughts to me. I almost gagged, my head spun, my heart lurched. Even getting a 3 for a class test when I had misunderstood the question and written a delightfully irrelevant answer (can there ever be a wrong answer in literature..*hee*) was not this bitter.

Ah, the bitterness. Even falling out of love would be more less bitter, or being disinherited. This chocolate was poison. Poison, pure horror. Why is it even called 'chocolate'? Why is it not called 'kalmegh'? Why is not called 'neem'? Why don't Bengalis make a suitably spurious torkaari with it... something like Neem Begun which is the most toxic torkaari in the world. What the fuck is Neem Begun? Why do people eat it as if the lau-chingri would only be second fiddle to such a gastronomic delight?

"Made with Ethopian Beans"- I will make their balls beans. This chocolate is achingly intense- right! I will make their balls intensely ache. God! How I hate them! This stuff should be administered to irritating children who will never whine for 'treats' again. Trick or Treat?! Huh!

What an angsty-profound-sad post!

6 comments:

AUROBOROS banerjee said...

irritating children have masticating organs devoid of neuron activity, and taste buds that are dictated by the unconditional gastronomic freedom offered by their youth........chocolate, tacs, screws, iron pellets, ..have intestine(and tapeworm) will digest.

Gypsy said...

hilarious! I'm chuckling. Not least because my orkut name is more often than not "Dark Chocolate". Yes, I still have an account on that blasted site.

Jadis said...

yeah.. and all this at 1 am in the morning, with Aristotle glaring down and looking daggers at you... The horror the horror of it!

Madhuri said...

Ah well, at least its all out in a rush ;)

Elendil said...

Ah, at last, a carrot-up-your-ass free post. :D The pleasures of chocolate! Eat some more.

ahona said...

Never again.