Saturday, 24 January 2009

The aesthetic of violence...

....otherwise known as waxing.

Moving to other things, henna smells like saal leaves.

Now I will share a really shocking story. I could, if less magnanimous, had listed it as a bad secret. Bad Secret. This aunt of mine was embroiled in an absolutely useless love affair instead of studying. So she was betrayed by the dubious individual she had a tendre for. Following which, plunged in utter gloom and despair, she started tearing off all hair(and she had much)... taking thus literally the proverbial sayings involving tearing hair by roots etc. Then because of her utter failure in both academia and love and looks(she had only clumps of hair left) , she was condemned by her family though not left to die.

Then came a good samaritan in the guise of my mother who asked her to coat her scalpwith leaves of efficacious indigenous plants going by the name of mehndi and keshut. Volia!Within a few months she had hair. And a husband, for her marriage was fixed elsewhere. Which shows that the next time you disbelieve hairsay, you should be banned, chopped and garnished.

I was thinking of this unique piece of abuse the other day.

Sample khisti: With the ghee of your penis, you penis, will we make halwa of your testicles.

18 comments:

Life's Elsewhere said...

Damn! That was horrible! I mean the things before mehndi and keshut...this will haunt me, sure, in my worse nightmares.

PS: And the khisti is begging proper bangla!

Baudolino said...
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Baudolino said...

Sri Harsha--the philosopher, not the king--said something wonderful about khisti; for he was a Bengali, and Bengalis always have something to say about abuse, even if it is perfunctory nonsense. He said that khisti produces aahaarya-jnaana, an involuntary superimposition of properties, something we always know to be erroneous. So, when you hurled this particular khisti at me, I could see you cooking my balls with neatly shredded carrots and raisins and cashewnuts.

ahona said...

@bawdy- amar harsha hochhe.

@anindyoda- ami banglay khisti maarte paari naa. Aami Loreto House e portam, shekhaane eshob shekhaano hoy naa.

Life's Elsewhere said...

Eh! Emonbhabey bolley jeno JUDE-ey ingreji khisti sekhano hoy! Se nahoy tumi lokkhi-loreto hoye thako, anubad amra korey nebo (your bitterness-quotient rising high!)
But jokes apart, I understand why I shivered when I read the post. I wrote something like this before: http://lovesragpicker.wordpress.com/2008/04/14/to-my-ophelic-lover/

ahona said...

@dearestdelight- it was delight, you dandy piece of candy :D

@anindyoda-naa shotti aami khisti maarte paari naa, bhishon brahmo type-er.

Life's Elsewhere said...

Na baba, balai shat! Thak thak! Shudhu-shudhu khisti marbe keno? Suggest korei chherey dao.

Elendil said...

Ah, I completely agree with Nilanjan on this one. The best khishtis are like Metaphysical poems, piling on hideous incongruities to make one neat whole.

arnab banerjee said...

khisti has a peculiar penchant of originating from the linguistically impaired, who in their desperation, resolve to spawn new shite-lets of independent existence, and indifferent disposition, to muck back at the obviously supient world.
which is what leads to the question............why has a probable gem of yesteryear's dower of loreto house taken resort to muck-ballisticising?? in a language so phoren, it impedes this heathen's engines of comprehension???

and then a realisation dawns......maybe this nachar-ota in bengali usage is a not a thing of disability, but of fragile vanity.......

but then, if u can think of bapon crapping in the staircase, this theory does hardly apply to you....

Abhijit Gupta said...

bapon crapping in the staircase? pray elucidate

arnab banerjee said...

@ mad hatter

The Bapon crapping on the staircase incident had it’s roots in a normal adda session one day, some days before our end sems were to begin. Sion, me, shaswata, ahona and nilanjan were talking about I forget what( ahona will insist it was potty), and in keeping with the natural tendency of any adda session that we contrive, it invariably gravitated towards the larger metaphysical gamut of Bapon Das’ world, his (ahem) lovable eccentricities, his delinquent delight at anything related to snot(we endearingly call it gloop, to register our implicit endorsement of this act of ballisticising it onto unsuspecting victims). Shaswata tossed a thoroughly insignificant remark( something to do with bapon and biri) at which Ahona suddenly imploded in frantic hand gestures in a desperate attempt to control peals of laughter.


The little furry anarchists that lay domesticated in her ear canal made her hear “ bapon shiri te potty korechhe”.

Still trying to recover from it’s aftermath.

Lord have mercy.

ahona said...

If Bapon can pee on a wall with CPM graffiti, why can't he crap on (Odessa) staircase?

Which is to say, I would rather crap on a staircase than crap in JUDE ladies' loo.

arnab banerjee said...
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arnab banerjee said...

if u think u can rival bapon's scatological spectacle, u've got to be out of your mind.
bapon's impeccably sartorial act of urination could only be matched measure for measure by his equally illustrious displays of scatological brilliance.
bapon's act of urinating on CPM wall graffiti could well be interpreted as an extremely courageous act of defiance............so, instead of saying "i dont give a shit", he actually does, which equally validates his stand.

is it true that after dark, the resident shite blob-lets of the ladies' loo come out animated like shite golems, and take active interest in noisily discussing how they successfully grossed out another desperate soul seeking scatological succour that day. they make strange squelching noises, talk about politics and play games of poopball............

i see now why the attainment of fecal focus is difficult in the ladies' loo......the noisy shite-lets wud not let one be at peace with her element.

Rahul Saha said...

Have to try that ghee penis bit sometime.

arnab banerjee said...

ur penile ghee procedure has earned quite a legion of rabid followers.......

consider a career in alternative cuisine, Ms.Panda.

arnab banerjee said...

and then again, khisti is hardly worth a closer inspection once it is unraveled for what it really is............

Khisti holo shei ujjwal jyotishker nyay onnoshwikarjyo bangla bakyobaan jeti jwolonto ongarer nyay korno ke shontrosto koriya tole, ebong jeti shrobon korile shir lojjyay noto, o byabohar korile choritro kalimalipto hoiya jaye.

Prospephone said...

Ahona it is not just you who have discovered a sudden penchant for innovative khistis. I’m particularly impressed with the legendary outputs from other liberally gifted geniuses. I’m talking about kala magi and other novel references. But let the culinary delight rage on, I thought of this the other day, balls gulo ke shred kore kima baniye khaiye debo. (I’ll not disclose who this was aimed at.)