Tuesday, 19 June 2007

Die, Die,Die.

As Mike Teevee, character out of Willy Wonka, once succinctly put it..."Die!Die!Die!"
I have a few questions to ask mankind in general...
1.Aunts aren't gentlemen but why aren't they human?
2.What is the lumbar region made of?Why does it hurt so?
3.Are all cousins terrors?What makes them yell like banshees without provocation?Do they all pinch for recreation?Why does my cousin pinch, yell and punch for pure sportive pleasure?
4.When I asked my cousin whether it was fair game to treat my stomach as punching bag she beamed and whispered "It's a fair sport..."
5.Why does my maid labour under the dismal delusion that that insipid pale shimmering liquid that makes me sob for my good strong black cuppa is tea?
6.Am I a latent Mike Teevee with hidden homicidal talents?
Latent= anagram of talent
7.Are Aunts reborn as Aunts i.e., to the same person?
8.Are Cousins reborn as Cousins or worse still Siblings i.e., to the same person?!!!
9.Is Lumbar Spondylosis a recurrent feature of Reincarnation?
10.If I yell Die!Die!Die! very loudly and very strongly and with a great deal of passion, will there be a holocaust?Even a miniature family version?

To all those who died at the hands of others
Fathers, mothers, sisters and brothers
Uncles, aunts, cousins and nieces
Along with those who rest in shattered pieces
May living man take note of what he's done
And not hand down this cruel streak to his daughter or his son.

4 comments:

anurima said...

1. Aunts have never ever been human... not even remotely so. I reckon it would be sacrilege for them to be otherwise. :|
2. Gee...
3/4. Yes! Oh yes... wait till they are old enough to hide scorpions in your blanket and poison your tea/beer/milk/water/air. Erm, a nephew (probably still in his diapers then)tried to explain the delicate intricacies of incest to me once.
5. I think I have MPD... I might just be your maid... :-O
6. Ah well.
7/8. If this assumption is proved true, it might really solve some family feuds.
9. Oh pleeeej pleeeej no!!! :-O
10. You wish. ;-P

(had a lot of time to waste...) :D

Elendil said...

Mock not the Reaper.

Arse Poetica said...

I know.Too Late.

ushmi said...

ie, not reproduce