Thursday, 31 May 2007

I have been tagged by the brilliant and narcisstic Oliver. The problem is: I haven't read for a loooong time.

total number of books owned
700 or some such figure.Many lie in cartons.Many lie in peoples houses.Blast them.In fact, many are Enid Blytons.

last books i bought
My wild wild ways- Errol Flynn.
Duplicate Death- Georgette Heyer.
The Portrait Of the Artist As A Young Man- James Joyce.

last books i read
refer above and,
Points Of View-W.Somerset Maugham
Herbert- Nabarun Bhattacharya

books i am currently reading
From Hell-Alan Moore
The Unbearable Lightness of Being-Milan Kundera

five books that i have really enjoyed or that have influenced me
100 years of solitude- Gabriel Garcia Marquez
heart of darkness- Joseph Conrad
Lolita-Vladimir Nabokov
Of Human Bondage- W. Somerset Maugham
Blandings Castle- P.G.Wodehouse
In an Antique Land-Amitava Ghosh
Waiting For The Barbarians, and Foe- J.M.Coetzee
Maus 1 and 2-Art Spiegelman.
1,2,3...Infinity- George Gamow
White Teeth-Zadie Smith.
Jagori-Satinath Bhaduri
Wait!That's not five.Hmmm.Could never really count.Ah,
Brighton Rock-Graham Greene.
The Collected Works Of T.S.Eliot.
Aam Aantir Bhepu-Bibhutibhushan Bandopadhyay
Quiet Flows the Don- Mikhail Sholokhov
There are, of course, many more.Lack of space. :(

books that i plan to buy next
any number of graphic novels which are too expensive :(

books that caught my attention but never read
Satanic Verses.This shall be remedied as soon as possible.

books i own but never got around to reading
On Beauty. Zadie Smith at her worst.Well, I tried.
Finnegan's Wake, James Joyce. I can't even find it now.

Wednesday, 30 May 2007

Dull Monotones and Bright Sunlight

When it's very hot( like now) I feel like a fizzy drink. Any drink with fizziness and minus dizziness is good for (my) bizzyness. So i'm drinking Lehar Club Soda and all because my father commented on my rapidly bloating physique; and he said(randomly, as usual)...
"I believe both your legs would together weigh about 30 kgs.The right would weigh 17 kilos, and the left about 13.I think you should refrain from kicking anybody or anything as of now."
Really, he can be very very rude.
My room,which is in shades of pleasant yellow, only seem to remind me of startling bilious sunlight. To escape the pain I went to a rooftop pub on Lindsay Street, i.e., in Lindsay Hotel called the Blue and Beyond.
Contrary to popular perception or expectation it is not done up in shades of blue.
But you can see a lot of Calcutta from there so i like it.
I went with a friend of mine who I have stood up more times than I care to recall and she cares to forget. However, I was as late as usual as we made our way to this li'l place of my choice and she made me part with 40 precious bucks to get a pack of 20...and why?
Oh they were coffee flavoured...
En route so I bade the 40 bucks bye bye and then we ascended. It was hot but they have this air conditioned glass cage thing and we entered. In recent time, I am completely bronchially butchered. I was dying for some strong chilled beer.Literally dying.
Nursing my cold, I ordered a pot of hot coffee.
Regular?Black?Milk?Vant?
I don't know why the waiter was doing his best to make me feel inept, stupid and sad.
Coffee.
Regular would be best.
Coffee.
PLEASE!

Friend:I'm hungry
Me:I have no money.
Friend:I have some.
Me:Be sure of it before we order.
Waiter:*polite cough*
Yes ma'am?
Firangis at neighbouring table: *animated gibberish*

waiter takes away ash tray.
Friend: This is symbolic.
Me: Amar kashi pachhe.
Friend:Let's ask him to parcel the food.
Me: But there are only a few puny pieces of babycorn left.Ya, so let's.

Three hours are over. We have consumed only a mocktail and a pot of coffee, and the cheapest starter on the menu(vegetarian).It is time to leave. We ask for the bill.

Friend:Pay for the coffee and the VAT.
Me: I hate VAT.Does it include service tax?
Friend:No.
Me: Will you tip?
Friend:No money.You?
Me:Yup

*pregnant pause*

We pay the bill. And run.

Saturday, 26 May 2007

what is so french about your omelette?

Erm.

nothing in particular.
the cheese was rotting on thursday, but he said that's a delicacy.
so we're going to have stinky rotten cheese coz a loser says that's a delicacy.
and the vinegar soaked olives i'm sure is a tithe we have to pay that thief who filches sensibilities on sunday evenings by the pool...

and shall he partake too of french omelette?

everybody has french omelette,it's a fad
and like all fads has a time span
and like all time spans is relative
and like all relatives are unwelcome...
ergo french omelette is unwelcome!

oh woe the day!

oh my sensibilities, oh the lack of activities, oh this abysmal loss of voice, oh why oh why do we exist...

it's the cheese!now i know...i know...the fuckin rotten stinky cheese...that's what we live for and not the olives...

THE OMELETTE, DEAR SIRS, MAY CONTAIN OLIVES AND CHEESE BUT THE ESSENTIAL INGREDIENT IS EGG.

and the "french" bit is just affectation, excuse the poor git who knows no better

Friday, 25 May 2007

Smoke.

Ash strewn upon the ground
Making a whispering sound
Smoke to the soul bound

Ash strewn upon the soul
Smoke made a cogent whole
Is your life on a roll

Questions that the hungry ask
When they’re put to task
Smoky eyes behind the mask

Smoke curling into rings
Remember all the bitter things
We did in boxing rings

Questions that the thirsty drink
Hovering at the brink
O sea I swim not I sink

Candlelit and smoky eve
The sun has downed so shall we grieve
There is no reprieve

Smoke is in my soul
Fragmented as much as whole
Paying a daily toll

Eyes ask questions of the night
And dance in the candlelight
Until the ash is out of sight.

Thursday, 3 May 2007

why do cows sing afternoon songs?

1. mangoes
2.yorkshire pudding
3.kebabs, you buffoon
4.the timely release of dung
5.a creole continuum
6.bovine bravado
7. evening blues
8. midweek madness
9. death of a salesman
10.moooooo........

moo, methinks.
perchance to bark.